How to Host a Neighborhood Tot Time

In more Christian circles, it’s not unusual to find people with similar passions. Being excited about neighboring surely isn’t a new thing—especially for stay at home moms. But ever since I started exercising my neighboring muscles my friend Sarah started bulking hers up too. Since we just so happen to also be neighbors, living just a few blocks away, we get to do life, raise our kids, and practice neighboring together.

A literal dream. And she’d be the first to tell you she prayed for it. And God made it happen.

Sarah has two boys who are 3 and 2 and is expecting a baby girl this August. And last summer, after COVID hit, Sarah, like many of us, found herself and her boys aching for the community and neighborhood interaction we were used to experiencing pre-pandemic. Parks slowly were opening up, but libraries were closed, and apart from family who agreed to see each other, there wasn’t anywhere for kids to interact with other kids or a place moms could get a break.

So Sarah decided to start what she named a Neighborhood Tot Time.

A time for moms (caregivers) and their kids (ages 5 and under) to come together with other neighborhood moms and kids and interact, play, sing, read, and snack. All the best things that make community, amirite?!

It took place entirely outdoors so moms were able to coexist with other moms while social distancing and the kids got to play with neighbors in a setting that resembled a library story time. Her tot time continued well through October and started up again this May.

It’s a simple and easy outreach to get going and has made such a difference in our lives and the lives of other families in our neighborhood. We can’t recommend starting one enough.

I’ve compiled her suggestions for putting a tot time together in a printable and encourage you to download it here or sign up below. It includes a suggested schedule and materials!

Send me the printable!

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And for more detailed instructions, check out our YouTube video.

We love this weekly tradition and hope you and your neighbors can experience it too!

How to Host a Neighborhood Concert

Music is fun. 

Neighbors are fun. 

So music & neighbors must be two times the fun!?!?

We threw our first ever neighborhood concert this weekend and we’re still reeling from it!

Cloverdayle is a summer night’s dream and the real reason Jake and I even thought about orchestrating a neighborhood event like this. Chad and Rachel are two of the most genuine, brave people you'll ever have the privilege of meeting and they do life the way they do music...seeking joy, truth, and wholeness, and bringing the same out in everyone they meet. We were honored to create space for them to do their thing…and that meant a neighborhood concert!

We are elated that our community in Littleton got to gather around together and enjoy their songs, the fresh air, and making connections with new faces. And even though we all set up blankets in goose poop territory, it somehow didn't matter. 

Here was my to-do-list before the event:

• Settle on a date/time with the band.

• Decide on and reserve (pay for) a location!

  • Research your local parks & recreation department for available shelters or parks to hold the event. You can also reach out to local restaurants if them hosting the event could work out better for your scenario.

  • Consider if you need power for amplified sound. Jake even had the idea to use his truck as a generator, but ended up choosing to hold the concert at the shelter instead.

• Decide on food/beverages options.

  • It is an option not to have food at all, but if you do opt for food, book food trucks or get sponsors.

  • We used Truckster to get connected with food trucks in the area.

• Apply for necessary permits

  • Check your city requirements for if you’ll need an event permits, amplified sound permit, food truck permits, or others. It’s not hard and rarely expensive, but it does take time.

• Brainstorm a back up weather plan.

• Design and print flyers/invitations.

  • Do this locally if possible. Getting ours printed at a local print shop saved me time and so, so much effort. Plus, it looked so much better then if I had done it myself. Well worth the $50 to print it, have it done, and be proud of how it looks!

  • We signed a note

• Post on Nextdoor or other neighborhood websites to get the word out beyond your flyer reach.

• Hand out flyers.

  • Make this a family activity, enlist help from other families, and meet neighbors as you go!

  • Check out other flyering tips on our instagram post.

• Make signs.

  • Extend a clear invitation that anyone can join the concert—that it’s free and open to the community.

• Set up!

  • Smiles on and prioritize people. It can be easy to get bogged down in attendance, worry over details (not like I did that or anything), but focus on the neighbors and don’t forget to take pics!!!

It was my first time organizing a neighborhood concert and it definitely felt different then our usual block parties. 

Here are my “live and learn” moments...

• Flyering is worth the time! Yes, you give a formal invitation, but you also have greater chance for connection when you do see people face to face. While flyering, we met people who go to our church (a dream for someone like me who has such hope for the local church) and also connected with a mom who found me on social after seeing the invite! --we printed them with our names signed on the back and she saw me wearing a baby while delivering flyers and sent me a DM!! I just love when social media can be used as a tool to make real life connections! The flyering conversations are also a confidence booster for talking to people a second time at the actual event. "Hi!! You live on..." or a simple, "you made it!" makes those faces feel seen and valued. We forget we have that much influence over people, let alone our neighbors we've barely met. ♥️

• Location matters quite a bit for neighborhood concerts. Block parties are more flexible and free range per say, while at a concert, everyone's attention is fixed at a certain point plus you need power for speakers! People are forgiving, and will put up with a lot for good music, but location does require more thought when live music is involved. 🌳

• Plan for people to sit. Concert vibes are different than block party vibes. Less mingling, more sitting.

• If looking for food trucks, go for recognizable local ones and prepare for a minimum. People loved having a local, we've seen it parked at that house, food truck show up. Having a recognizable truck is more important than cuisine preference. We had no idea how many people to expect, and most food trucks have minimums, so be prepared (and okay) to pay a bit if the food truck team doesn't meet it. (City grants can help cover that cost...but this was so last minute we missed the application window!) 🍔

• Consider what the community is used to doing for similar events. When planning, it's worth asking what people have done before. As involved as our family thinks we are, there are still soooo many things happening we don't know about. I ran plans by a neighbor who shared how other community concerts usually went down and reminded me to check with the city on things I had overlooked! Another pair of more experienced eyes are necessary. And they are out there. People have always lived in an area longer and are always more connected. And generally, they are eager to share and make more connections. So ASK! 👏🏼

• The more signs, the better. I didn't have enough. I assumed people would mostly be walking, so for people who drove or hadn't been there before, it wasn't clear where to park or where we even were! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Maybe my biggest takeaway?

People have missed events and community gatherings like this. They are a good thing.

We got so many smiles and “thank yous” and “how did you do this?”, that even though my "I would've done this differently" list was long, it was a win.

Music, friendship, a beautiful park, local food, neighbors. The reward outweighs the effort. 100%

Are you thinking about hosting something for your community? Leave a comment below or find me on instagram to brainstorm!

Welcome, Levi

After an attempted induction at 39 weeks, we scheduled a C section for 40 weeks and a day. The night before our baby’s imminent arrival, Jake and I went to our favorite restaurant on Larimer street downtown, Bistro Vendome, devoured some steak frites, and spent time feeling so grateful for this season of life and anticipating life with 3 kids. We came home, packed, and tried to sleep. 

The next morning, we woke up and headed to the hospital. Checked in and got settled in the prep room. My doctor had said we’d try another induction if my cervix were dilated to two. So I asked the nurses to check, but it was as we all expected, no change. My body was sitting pretty at 40 weeks with no signs of labor other than a huge, suspicious, belly. So I accepted my fate and tried to be brave for the C section I think I knew I’d always have.

Another night nurse came in to help the nurse who was assigned to us and in the spirit of helping, said she’d put in my IV. I knew instinctively this was not going to well. I was still bruised from the previous week so she had to go in the other arm. And she missed. I have shifty veins, so I had a feeling she was going to miss, but that was enough. I thought I had come to terms with it, another C section delivery, but that stupid failed IV was all it took to get my tears streaming. Slowly at first, one trickle. Then I couldn’t stop. The nurse acquiesced and took her leave, and my other night nurse was left to take a stab at my squirmy veins. She missed too. That left her one more attempt. Thankfully, 3rd times a charm rang true.

Soon after, the nurses changed shifts and I met Betsy. 

I’m near tears even thinking about Betsy and amazed at how much a nurses demeanor can influence a patient’s experience in the hospital. I felt misunderstood by the main nurse during the twins’ delivery, and it was like the Lord knew I needed someone with my humor to be with me as we welcomed our third baby into the world. 

My doctor, the confident, gorgeous, 6ft tall Dr. Khan, finally came in and sat on the bed. She too, knew we’d find ourselves here, prepping for a cesarean. She chose that moment to ask if they were tying my tubes and though caught off guard, I laughed…no, no, no.

Betsy made the rest of the surgery prep a breeze. We talked through the spinal tap, the anesthesiologist educating and advocating me.

Jake came into the room.

I remember the banter between the medical team. Appreciating it. Thankful for Betsy, and for Jake—though he was more nervous than I was and I knew that. :)

But I was more aware than my first cesarean. Able to sense more and remember more. Minutes into surgery Dr. Khan commented on my abs…I laughed. And not a minute later she remarked, “this is not a small baby.”

Seconds later she held that baby up. Jake, surprised, announced his son’s arrival to the operating room and we heard the declaration after 9 months of wondering who exactly would change our lives.

It was a little boy. It was Levi.

Looking towards labor: a pregnancy post

We went in to be induced for this third sweet babe and came home a few hours later still pregnant. 

I’m still confused how it happened, but when the hospital bed phone rang and my off-duty doctor extended the previously unknown to me option to postpone the induction, (thanks to a high baby and high cervix), going home felt like the right move. 

I had a scheduled c-section with the twins three years ago and have been clinging to a dwindling hope of a VBAC this go-around. 

It’s funny, the one unifying thing about everyone’s birth story is they never go as “planned.” 

Yet for some reason, we mamas keep on planning. 

Grasping for a sense of control in the uncontrollable. Fighting against surrender until we’re forced to let go. 

For my first pregnancy, I imagined an unmedicated, natural birth as a strong, golden trophy I longed to win and display on my shelf of achievements. I tell myself it wasn’t something I wanted just for me (though, probably it was), I also naturally am a little apprehensive of medical intervention, really did long for the empowering feeling that comes with seeing your body reach its limits, and desired what an unmedicated birth would grant my babies. 

I elevated this ideal so high, that when both babes were breach and even my old school doctor recommended scheduling a c section, it took me months, even years to grieve not having the chance to give birth in an unmedicated scenario. 

On a good day, I can talk through my cesarean as a beautiful birth story in itself, full of redemption, but I’d be lying if I ignored the moments my heart still pines for that trophy. 

So weeks ago, when it became clear my lady parts didn't feel the urgency for a pre-due date delivery as my provider did, I threw the unmedicated birth goal out the window and crossed my fingers for a vbac period. Bring on the meds. We agreed to an induction at 39 weeks believing it our best shot.

We left the kids with my parents, got to the hospital, unpacked, and prepped for a likely long stay. They put me on fluids, hooked me up to the monitor, before getting around to check how "ready" I was to push out a baby. And as it turned out, I was not ready at all. 

I had to send a lot of texts, after we decided to leave the hospital. I wondered how to post in stories about the delay in welcoming this babe to the family. But strangely, I feel like we made the right decision. And I feel like saying yes to the induction that never happened was the right decision too. 

I don't know how this baby will enter this crazy world, but I do know I'm going to love being his/her mama. It’s that confidence that drives me as I consider the weird, momentous responsibility we women have to carry our children.

It’s the responsibility to carry them as they develop and to finally labor, whether through contractions, surgery, or kneeling in prayer night after night, to bring them from darkness to light. 

And so our family continues to wait. Anticipating what is in store.

Knowing the baby who will come will change us--becoming part of us--forever. 

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A final thought. 

If posts like these press on a sore spot for you, whether it be a longed for birth, pregnancy, marriage or family, know you are not alone.

It takes all of us, women around the world, mothers by birth, relationship, hard work, and love to bring forward and raise up today's children...the leaders and makers of the future.

Thank you, thank you for your minute by minute sacrifice.

How to love your neighbor when they have COVID-19

For nearly a year we’ve been encouraged to isolate, social distance, and stay away from healthy friends and family for the sake of flattening the curve. We’ve been living in fear, and I often find myself straight up unsure of what actually is the right, responsible way to think about all the different aspects of living in a pandemic.

One thing I know for sure? Neighboring cannot stop.

Even in fear. Even when people have locked their doors. Neighboring has to continue.

One way to neighbor well even when people have “quarantine” emblazoned on their hearts, is not to shy away from being available when our neighbors, friends, and family actually get COVID.

Contrary to what we’ve heard recommended, people with COVID actually still need support. And there are safe ways to do it without compromising your own health.

If a friend or neighbor’s family comes down with COVID, especially dads/moms with toddlers, y’all, let’s not live in fear, let’s advocate for these families.

Don’t leave them alone. Use your imagination. Love your neighbor. Serve them.

Our family came down with COVID after Thanksgiving (me, Jake and my parents, but not the kids—read more about our experience in my last blog post), so we know first hand how meaningful these acts of service were to our own recovery!

5 ways to neighbor well when someone you know gets COVID (especially if they’re quarantined with COVID and toddlers!).

1. Drop off meals.

• This might seem the obvious way to care for people when they’re sick, but it made even more of a difference with this sickness. Jake and I lost our taste, and with little energy, cooking was the furthest thing from my mind. But our appetite didn’t stop, we still needed to eat, and we still needed healthy food flooding our bodies—not to mention, we had almost 3 year old mouths to feed!

• Even though I kept meals simple and used the frozen ones stocked and patiently waiting in the freezer, the friends who dropped off meals just added a level of rest because I literally didn’t have to think about anything.

• Check out this list from Pinch of Yum about meals to drop off if you need some fresh ideas!

• Offer to pick up groceries! Hint* If they say no, pick up some staples and leave them regardless. Things like OJ, premade chicken noodle soup, fresh fruit, healthy snacks for the kids (pretzels, fruit leathers, applesauce) and leave them on the doorstep with a quick text saying “delivery!”

2. Prep a pre-set activity or hand me down toy for the kids!

• Print off an activity packet (available online from brilliant insta mamas @littleoneslearn, @chickadeeswoodentoys) and leave it on the doorstep with do-a-dot markers or dot stickers for your friend’s toddlers, thereby equipping her with minutes of silence.

• Stop by the dollar bins at Target and buy some pre-packaged crafts or puzzles for the kids to do. Again, thereby equipping the COVID-ridden parents with minutes to recoup emotional and physical energy.

• We had a friend drop off a hand me down set of Lincoln logs, she’s basically Santa! Wrapped and everything. This was an inviting challenge for the kids and a welcome “newness” in a week when such newness went a long way to earn attention from 2 year olds.

3. Pick up laundry.

• Depending on how you feel about how the virus is contracted, you may or may not feel comfortable with this act of service. But if laundry doesn’t scare you, this was an incredible blessing for our family.

• My aunt (who had already had COVID) all but insisted on doing our laundry. I resisted for a while, but being 7 months pregnant and having quite a trek to accomplish laundry (through the carport, outside, and into the cellar basement) I eventually conceded. I piled everything in a giant duffle bag and she took it away to tackle at her own house. She brought it back the next day beautifully folded and fresh.

• In hindsight, I realized in my necessary quest for rest, I would have neglected the laundry and left it to pile up…thereby making more work for myself when I finally had the gumption to do laundry or we ran out of undies. So trusting that my aunt meant she wanted to help in this way and letting her, was a huge win. For all of us. It sounded difficult, inconvenient for sure, sending her home with our dirty laundry, but I don’t think it was all that hard for anyone. Plus, her actions gave her superhero status.

4. FaceTime dance parties

• Offer a standing invitation to FaceTime and entertain your friend’s toddlers for a song or two. Then, let loose.

• My sister and bro-in-law are champs at FaceTime dance parties. The kids prop the phone on the a shelf and command Alexa to play “Freeze Dance” by the Kiboomers. Then the healthy young adults on the other end get to boost their endorphins and log aunt/uncle minutes while the toddlers in my home get their wiggles and giggles out.

• It’s a perfect solution for those 3-4 minute stretches your friend may need to accomplish something or, let’s be real, sit quietly in the bathroom without fear the kids will need something.

• If she doesn’t send out an SOS text, just pick an afternoon…around 4:30…and call anyway!

5. Vitamin C deliveries

• Our neighbors and kid’s friends, wrote “we miss you” notes and parachuted Clementines over the fence. Adorable. Cost effective. Easy. And quite helpful.

• Package up and share some immune boosting powerhouses you may have lying around to leave with your neighbors. Zinc, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, anything you’ve got handy that you can pop in a quick ziplock and share. If the sick neighbors feel better seeing you pour the vitamins out of the jar and into a baggie, nominate yourself the block apothecary and bring the bottles over to their home. Then you can package them up on their doorstep or in front of a window. ;)

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Now, chances are, neighbors who test positive may not come right out and say it.

You’ll likely hear through the grapevine how someone is getting a test or needing to quarantine and then have to think quick about how to come alongside the neighbors who are sick.

But what better way to love our neighbors than showing up when they’re in the thick of COVID symptoms and likely to be experiencing loneliness and anxiety.

The lesson in all of this, is the better we know our neighbors and what they’re going through, the easier it is to come alongside them when they actually need it.

It’s a huge task. And a huge undertaking.

But one that actually makes a difference.

Time to rally, y’all. <3

A COVID survival guide for stay at home mamas: 5 tips for when you're COVID positive and still have healthy toddlers to keep alive:

COVID-19 joined the fam these last few weeks.

Word on the street is it’s likely to be in a lot of our experiences—especially in these winter months.

So after, yes, surviving the virus that caused 2020 to go down in the history books for reasons other than what any of us ever imagined possible last New Years Eve, I thought I’d jot down some of the things that kept me sane for the 10+ days my husband and I were down and out with the dreaded COVID.

Though symptoms seem to vary drastically from person to person, our experience fighting off this illness wasn’t peachy. And though Jake is a classic man-cold contender (love him), I, and my parents (who also contracted the virus) are usually pretty sturdy when it comes to weathering sickness. But in all fairness, this one wasn’t easy.

Symptoms, especially fatigue, seemed to hang on for longer than a usual bug. Though Jake and I managed to avoid any head cold symptoms (apart from losing taste and smell—a super weird and depressing life experience, I might add), we were knocked out with aches, fever and chills for a few days, and then plagued with fatigue. Being 7+ months pregnant, I did experience shortness of breath, especially in the evening after doing the bend down, pick up toys routine.

Still. We survived.

Our almost 3 year old twins (who never showed any symptoms) did too.

They certainly got a kick whenever one of us admitted we couldn’t smell their poop. And they were extra gracious with us when we asked to read books on the couch instead of have a dance party.

We didn’t get outside nearly as much as during a usual week.

And the kids logged more hours with Stinky and Dirty than they have in any other period of time.

But we made it.

There’s no denying it was a team effort.

The day I first had symptoms, Jake pulled extra weight around the house and let me rest. And when my parents had good days they came over to entertain the kids while I laid in bed.

Not to mention the help we received from friends, family, Instacart, and the community on Instagram whose brilliant ideas for entertaining toddlers were a lifeline to me in an energy-less week.

So without further ado, I put together a little COVID survival guide for stay at home mamas. 

None of it is rocket science, in fact, most of it’s painfully obvious. But I needed someone to tell me these pieces of advice, so maybe, if you happen to come down with the COVID, you might benefit from hearing these nuggets too.

A COVID survival guide for stay at home mamas

1. Say “yes” to any offer of help (and ask for it).

• Meals brought (by friends or Doordash).

• Laundry done.

• Anyone who recently tested positive hanging with your kids while you close your eyes.

• FaceTime dance parties (enlist the support of family and friends who aren’t local to entertain your toddlers for a song or two. “Freeze dance” by the Kiboomers is a fave around here. It’s a perfect solution for those 3-4 minute stretches when you need to accomplish something or, let’s be real, sit quietly in the bathroom without fear the kids will need something.)

2. Where you can skimp on the usual daily chores, or even, dare I say it, routine. Do.

• Dishes in the sink. Let them be. Paper plates in the cupboard. Put them to use.

• PJs all day. Naked kids? No stress. (You’ll notice a theme with all the pics I have of these two weeks…scantily clad kiddos.)

• Didn’t get outside before noon? Shake it off.

• My experience with COVID lingered, I’d have a good day, then a bad day, so have grace for yourself and understanding. If you can help it, don’t push it too hard when you think you can. Instead, store up energy, be responsible and rest, and trust your body to do the work it needs to do.

3. Quick, low maintenance, easy clean up activities are your life line.

• Water coloring.

• Cutting.

• Punching paint cards.

• Coloring pages.

• Reading.

• Playdough.

• If you’re like me you have simple crafts stashed away, dollar bin paint activities, sticker workbooks, dollar store puzzles…don’t hold off on saving these for a later time, put them to use pronto. Now is the time.

• Now is not the time to hold yourself to an Instagram standard for motherhood. That said, if you’ve bookmarked easy activities or have go-to accounts for ideas of what to do with the kids, don’t forget about them! I leaned on these accounts and these mamas for ideas and inspiration when my brain power was at zero and it got us through. It’d even be worth it to pay for some printables or activity packets! My go to mamas are @livethescottcottage, @littleoneslearn, and @busytoddler.

4. Let them watch shows.

• You probably need someone to tell you this, I did. Weeks like when you’ve got COVID and your kids are two and healthy are exactly the reason TV was created. Stinky & Dirty? A Godsend. Blippi. Toddler and parent hero alike. It doesn’t have to be and still shouldn’t be all day. But please don’t feel guilty about putting on a movie or letting a show auto play if it means you can close your eyes.

• In normal life, I use media as a tool for when I need to prep or get something done the kids can’t help with. But in COVID life, there was virtually no prep or getting anything done, so media became a tool to engage my sweet kids while allowing my body to rest and recharge—something we know is super important while our immune system is working overtime. If you can, watch with them/sit on the couch and close your eyes. If not, leave them on the couch and go to your bed. No harm. No foul.

5. Keep food simple.

• Shakes for when you lose taste. We bought a jar of protein/meal replacement shakes from a friend who has been trying Isagenix. This was a great solution for breakfast or lunches when cooking felt futile, taste loss and energy gone, but we were still hungry! Shakes ensured we got nutrition, while also not costing us any effort or thought.

• For kids: Cereal, deli meat, peppers, berries, yogurt, waffles, avocado toast, noodles. Now is not the time to be at war with them over whether they’re licking their plate clean or trying new foods. Go for old, easy standbys. Keep them fed. Keep your sanity.

• Vitamin up. Vitamin D, C, and Zinc.

Bonus: Drink water & Prioritize rest (did I mention that yet?)

I certainly hope your family makes it through this season without testing positive for COVID, but if the coronavirus shacks up with you for a bit this winter, take a deep breath. You and your toddlers will make it through. ;)

What nobody tells you about neighboring as a family

Meet the fam. ⁠

There's Gal (short for Galilee), Me (Kaylee), Amos, and the husband (Jake). The kids are twins, 2 1/2 now. Somebody pinch me.⁠ And another babe on the way.

My hope in creating littlest neighbor is to resource parents of little kids to meet and care for the people living around them.

But as I've been reflecting and thinking about how our family does neighboring, I realized a pretty big thing that actually has some pretty freeing implications.⁠ ⁠

As much as I'd like to think neighboring is a family passion, it's not. ⁠ ⁠

Neighboring is a passion of mine and something our family has come to value and prioritize, but it's not something each individual in our family has been called to equally. ⁠ ⁠

And that's okay.⁠ ⁠

It's probably a more common reality than I'd care to admit when Jake and I are disagreeing about hosting a fall block party. It's in those moments I compare and assume the families (specifically couples) who host regularly and do neighborly things are always equally excited about it! ⁠ ⁠

But that expectation is me not being fair to my people.⁠ ⁠

Amos may have a propensity toward neighboring—with the way he greets our neighbors from the carport, but Gal sometimes chooses to opt out of social interactions, even at the age of 2.

A lot like her dada, I occasionally have to console her after we share a batch of cookies and leave it on a neighbor’s doorstep. It’s a teachable moment, sure, but as she grows and becomes more or less introverted, it’s my job to advocate for her and the moments she wants and needs space, rather than push her towards a social interaction that could be really draining. While our conversations with neighbors will still happen spur of the moment, they will also become more intentional and planned. That way, we respect her desire for predictability and allow her a framework in which to turn on the small talk.

With Jake, however, it’s a little more heated, because he can…tell me how he really feels.

I get to support Jake 100% as he pours his energy into our business, and he gets to support my passion for neighboring—especially when it means he gets to steal a muffin or a handful of fresh granola. ⁠

But it's not always easy. ⁠

We've had to learn how to balance the responsibility I feel to interact with neighbors on a minute by minute basis and his basic need to recharge with his family. ⁠ Those lingering greetings that stop us on a walk or out-of-the-way meal deliveries are a sure fire way to just drain Jake’s energy. And that’s something I need to be protecting and pouring into, rather than pulling the drain and depleting his energy reserve because I’m naively unaware that we function differently.

Our personality difference is not a bad thing, nor does it mean we can't be good, caring neighbors—we just have to have conversations about how to do it as a family in a way that honors both our hearts and callings.

This means we’re specific about when we “do” neighboring.

We say no to other things in order to make room for it in our lives, and we are scrupulous about what we can expect of each other. We pay attention to work deadlines, trips, and just busy weeks. We make trades all the time. Maybe we opt out of a night with friends because we’ve agreed to participate in a neighbor’s chili cook off. Or I plan just a girl (and kids) event and send Jake to a movie.

I’ve also had to learn to do a lot of my prep work ahead of time and when Jake isn’t around. I budget my time differently and simplify everything (menus, decor, etc.) in order to minimize stress when the dinner bell rings.

When we make an effort to neighbor as a family, it’s a team effort.

And we all know we need to be present.

Now, maybe that makes neighboring sound too hard or not worth it, but I hope it's encouraging, somehow.

Neighboring is not something that just happens, no matter the personality type. ⁠

Neighboring is intentional--especially as a family endeavor. It has to be. ⁠But it's worth it.

An Upside to Neighboring

Here’s Isaiah. Our 5 year old neighbor and leader of the pack of neighborhood toddlers. 

He’s the king of exploring. The king of repurposing nature finds. And apparently, the king of stacking wooden animals. 

These sweet Ostheimer figures have been a guilty pleasure for me the past two years when I first catapulted on to the wooden toy train. And with my natural affinity toward collecting, we were on an accelerated track. I wish I were kidding when I told you, I dreamt wooden animals and lost sleep debating which ones to collect once. 

For a while, I displayed these beauties on the grown up shelves, the ones just out of reach of toddler hands, or rotated them out by theme, but eventually, they found their home on the windowsill.

It’s utter delight because they fit perfectly on the window’s ledge, can parade in a sweet little line, and can be seen from the street as they march in place day after day. Occasionally, as I’m doing dishes, I see new cars drive by and do a double take at the window. I’m partly concerned and partly proud that our wooden animal window ledge warrants a double take. 

But since before the babes knew about elephants and zebras, I’ve been stacking these animals in varying towers and balancing acts. I attempt to set them up, invite the kids to play, and find new ways to showcase these beautiful pieces. 

But my efforts have remained mine. The kids never focused on building their own animals stacks until Isaiah took on the challenge himself. 

The king of the neighborhood kids strode up to the windowsill and carefully maneuvered the figures until a delicate animal tower took shape. He smiled, looked back at us for affirmation, and carefully decided where to put his last animal. 

In the days that followed, Amos took to stacking animals like he never had before. He’d stack the zebra on the bear and say, “like Isaiah do!” And then he’d work to balance the rabbit on top of the zebra. He’d spend minutes at the windowsill, attempting to mimic and rise to Isaiah’s vision and efforts. 

Like the schoolhouses of old, raising younger kids in the presence of older kids has its upsides--one to which big families and homeschooling families are no stranger. It's like when a freshman gets on the varsity team and excels as a ball player because the juniors and seniors are motivating and pushing him/her to improve.

Younger kids observe the abilities and imaginations of the older ones and in observing are inspired and challenged to grow. 

For the firstborns in our families, there’s not an older kid in the home to observe or naturally take on the low-key mentor role. But in our case, Amos & Gal have Isaiah, their neighbor and friend, to look up to and learn from.

This is especially notable in seasons like this one when they’re not likely to be around older kids.

They’re not in school yet, and if they were, it’d be in a group of same-age peers. Sunday school is similar, plus, that luxury of old hasn’t been available in months thanks to #quarantine2020. Hanging out with family doesn’t necessarily mean there’s an older cousin to stalk and neither do play dates insure an older sibling to follow around.

Neighbors are there.

And as long as they’re willing and ready to play (after you’ve gotten to know them and trust their influence on your kids…another blog post for another day), let them.

Isaiah in our lives means there’s an upside to neighboring I’d missed prior to when he stacked these wooden animals. And thankfully, he's the kind of older kid I want my younger kids admiring.

Even though Amos & Gal are the babies on the block today, someday, they’ll be the ones stacking animals, shooting baskets, and speaking in full sentences calling the younger kids in our neighborhood to growth and innovation.

It’s a big picture outlook on this neighboring life, sure, but one I can happily get behind.

I’ve gotten to watch Isaiah grow up, but so have my kids. And he’s able to teach and love them too.

How to meet your neighbors without saying anything

Confession. Even for someone as crazy about neighboring as I am, sometimes I still get nervous about walking up to someone’s door just to welcome them to the neighborhood or introduce myself. There’s that moment after knocking where I think to myself, “Quick! there’s still time to run!”

But, most often, I don’t run; most often, I take a deep breath and stay put.

A surprising majority of the time, no one answers, and my introvert self breathes a sigh of relief. But when someone does answer, I introduce myself and we exchange a few introductory sentences before each of us go on our merry way.

The reason for initiating such a seemingly outgoing point of contact is this: to start the neighboring relationship.

If you care about neighboring, then this simple, first step has to happen.

And I for one would rather it be sooner. That way we avoid potential awkward eye contacts and missed moments. We can begin smiling, exchanging regular greetings, and getting to know them.

Now, if you’re never the type to just walk up to someone’s door and say, “heeeeeey!"" don’t stop reading just yet. We (me and my toddlers) designed a simple way to make that first step towards building that neighboring relationship happen.

And we’ve made it available to you as a free printable.

Its formal title is the Littlest Neighbor, “Meet Your Neighbor” door hanger and postcard.

Makes you want to download it, eh?

The easiest way to access it is through the subscribe button at littlestneighbor.com, but you’re already on our website, so I firmly believe you can manage to navigate there on your own…if you’d still like the link…here it is!

Type in your email quick, and we’ll send a confirmation email to your inbox with a link for the download! If it’s not showing up right away, check your promotions folder, and drag it on over to your primary inbox if you’d like to receive our content in the future. And don't worry…I’m talking, maybe monthly emails—my kids are toddlers and as a mom I have a lot of jobs, but overloading your inbox isn't one of them!

Open the email, give it a quick glance, and the click the confirm button! Like magic, our download will pop up in a new window.

From here you can follow the handy instructions on the printable or follow the following steps.

1. Print the door hanger. Your printer might be able to print double sided or, like me, you may have to finagle a way to make it happen. If you’re not up for going to battle with your printer, just print the document as is, and you’ll end up pasting them back to back. Totally acceptable. You can select black and white if you don’t want hit to print in color, but we definitely recommend printing on card stock so it's a little beefier when you leave it at your neighbors’ door.

2. Follow the prompts on the printable to include your family’s information and involve your kids as much as you have the patience for.

3. Cut out the door hanger or postcard and you’re good to go. 

4. Bake up a batch of treats, if you’re feeling fancy, (see our favorite recipes here) and leave these on the doorstep with your introduction! 

5. Deliver.

Now, it’s possible the thought’s lingering in your mind…what if my neighbor sees me? What if I have to say something!! I promise, this isn’t as scary as it may seem. What’s such a gift about using our printable is you have a reason for being on their steps, or walking up to their front door, and y’all, reasons take all the pressure off when it comes to meeting people! No small talk necessary. Just be honest!

You’d just spout off something like, “Oh heeey! I’m Kaylee, this is Amos & Gal, and we live down the street! We just wanted to drop this off and introduce ourselves! So happy you’ve moved in!” Or, if it’s not a new neighbor, just one you haven’t met yet, say something like, “We're trying to get to know our neighbors and are excited to meet you!”

It’s as simple as that! 

Now the reality of neighboring, is once you leave the door hanger or printable, your neighbors may or may not text you. They may even have to ask for your number months down the road, but don’t let it get to you. Keep smiling. Keep reaching out.

With this little door hanger, you’ll reach the foundational step of your neighboring efforts. The first benchmark to meeting your neighbors and building rapport complete. Initial contact. Connection.

You can do it.

Let us know how your experience using our “meet your printable” goes with your family and your neighbors in the comments below! 

P.S. Here’s the video version of this post, if you want to go for round 2 of this content.

P.P.S. If you don’t have kids at home, not to worry, we made a version of the printable for you too. Use this link for a couples and singles version of our “meet your neighbor” door hanger.

Our 5 Go-to Recipes for Neighbor Gifts

We love being in the kitchen around here.

Partly because of how sensory-inviting baking and cooking are, partly because we love to eat, and partly because, well, it’s something to pass the time!

In all our baking, we’ve narrowed down our go-to recipes for neighbor gifts and linked them for you to try!

1. Pinch of Yum’s Coconut Oil Granola. This stuff is delicious. Our family could eat it straight for all three meals + snacks for weeks. It’s mostly just pouring and mixing; the grunt work is in chopping the nuts (pecans and pistacios—are there any better nuts?!) Unfortunately, the ingredients are a little on the pricier side, so if you’re making a bulk batch, go with one of our other options!

2. Sally’s Baking Addiction’s Vanilla Almond Granola. A straightforward, classic granola recipe with easy ingredients (leave out the almond extract if you don’t have any in the depths of the spice cupboard). We bulk make this recipe for neighbor gifts regularly.

3. Pinch of Yum’s Healthy-ish Breakfast Cookies. No lie. Our neighbors request these! We make with whatever we have on hand, but we love coconut, chocolate chips, and frozen blueberries for our add ins. Nom. Nom. Nom.

4. Puppy Chow (Muddy Buddies). I love gifting (and receiving) puppy chow because it’s basically fail proof. Gluten free, even! Plus, it’s one of those sweet treats I know could never go to waste. Even though it’s overly-sugary and even makes me feel a little sick, over my dead body will a single powdered-sugar covered chex be left uneaten. Ironically, most of the people I’ve talked to feel similarly. We’ll devour puppy chow, but will abandon other more complex baked goods. Not to mention how fun and potentially messy it is to prep making it a favorite for baking with kids.

   You can go for a basic puppy chow recipe, or try our fave, Double Dark Chocolate Muddy Buddies, recipe by What’s Gaby Cooking. It’s subtle (almond butter + dark chocolate combo kills me) and a little more palatable in large doses. Don’t second guess leaving out the chocolate extract either; it’s delicious without it.

5. Any muffin from the Natural Nurturer. If we have to pick, we’ve probably made the carrot-apple vegan muffins the most often, but the recipe variety is what makes Taesha’s recipes so fun! If you have any veggie that’s going to go unused, you can bet she has a muffin recipe that will get it eaten.

   Muffins are a favorite baking activity for us because they easily come together in a blender or food processor. The kids love settling liners in the muffin pan and scooping batter with our scooper. It’s also nice to give/receive something on the “healthier” side (natural sugars and gluten free while still being delicious)—especially for people whose dietary needs we aren’t aware of quite yet.

Once you’ve settled on your recipe, it’s time to package up your baked goods and deliver! I can’t tell you how many times we’ve baked with every intent of passing the finished product along to neighbors, but I get bogged down packaging and the goods end up eaten and digested before I can yell, “That’s not for you!”

Here are a few easy packaging solutions that have become old standbys for us.

• Ziplock baggies, folded over and stapled with a pretty piece of paper.

• Treat bags tied with bakers twine.

• A repurposed take out tray or box.

• Old school lunch bags, kraft paper bags folded over and dressed up with a strip of washi tape across (horizontally).

• Mason Jars (or old jelly/glass jars) with a simple, repurposed ribbon across the neck.

• Pre-buying and stocking a pile of kraft gift bags with cellophane cut out and wire closure. I wait till Hobby Lobby has them on sale or these on Amazon look similar!

Happy Baking!

Baking with babies: Sourdough Biscuits

Introduction #1: our new favorite recipe. Discard sourdough biscuits from Vanilla and Bean. If you have a sourdough starter at home, make these happy bread delights asap. Life. Changing. We double the recipe, and either send it home with neighbors or put it in the freezer. You cook it from frozen so you can bake however many you need for a quick carb side at dinner and save the rest for morning biscuits and gravy. 100% delish.

Introduction #2: Isaiah. We became friends with his family five+ years ago right before he was born. This kid was my first baby love. No joke, I worried I wouldn’t love my own children as much as I loved Isaiah. (Thankfully, the Lord has filled my heart with enough love for my own kids and more, but the worry I think was still genuine). Last year, he and his family moved into the house behind us, we put a gate between our fences, and now I get to watch him and his sister teach, encourage, and play with Amos & Gal almost every day. 

They came over for an impromptu afternoon of who knows what and we ended up making these biscuits. It was a bit of a bold decision, knowing the recipe requires more rolling, lots of flour, and is a little more temperature sensitive than others, but the giggles from these four kids were enough to make it worth it. Plus, sending them home like they got pummeled by a sack of flour made for extra laughs between me and his brilliant mama. 

Who knew this neighboring life would be so full of joy.

5 Tips for sensory play & Lessons from playing with rice

We’ve tried to play with rice time and time again. And y’all. I think we’ve finally found the winning recipe for success.

Here are our top 5 rice play tips:

1. Food Coloring. Gotta go conventional on this one. Natural food dyes just aren't going to have the same vibrancy. Save those for something your kids will actually digest and use the cheap, powerful stuff for sensory bins. Something about cleaning up bright rice also puts me in a less bitter mood than when cleaning pale, muted rice. 🤷🏼‍♀️ We've gone the—rice in a ziplock baggie and add drops off food coloring and 1 tsp vinegar route—and are usually happier when we add extra vinegar and use big ziploc bags.

2. Limit scooping utensils. If you’re trying to avoid mess, especially when just starting out with rice play, having a single scooping utensil in the bin/tray available for your kiddo limits the potential craze if they really get going. The beauty of a minimal approach is they don’t know the difference, and are likely more able to focus with fewer, intentional options.

3. Time it to your advantage. We set this invitation up the evening before I knew the floors are getting a good mopping. And y'all. This week, for the first time ever, I paid someone to mop. Our sweet summer nanny put the kids down for nap and then cleaned.my.house. 👏🏻👏🏻 I did not care if the rice went everywhere that morning, cause I knew it would be bagged up and swept up that afternoon. It did wonders for the part of me that cringes when a scoop gets extra follow through.

4. Clean up together. No lie, I don’t always have the patience to do this, but the times when we play the clean up song laughing about spotting another grain after grain of rice are formative. They have practice cleaning up after themselves and are reminded (without you reminding them) that rice outside of the bin gets cleaned up.

5. Practice. I know, it's annoying. It'd be nice for the kids to be little clean freaks from the get go and be content pouring and scooping within the appropriated space. But unfortunately, that’s more than likely not the case. But take heart, it will get less and less messy. Just prepare for the occasional rice firework.

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As I’ve worked to follow my own tips for rice play, the day we set out this flower invitation was the best yet.

Not sure if the kids caught on to the attempt of day and night with the "antiqued" moon, but I'm pretty sure they caught the flower. Which of course, only lasted until a toilet paper roll ring was ever so gently repositioned. ⁠

I had thought about putting a bowl of bright colored rice and seeing if they would've filled the petals, but Gal opened the sensory table (the legendary Ikea flisat table) before breakfast exposing the invitation waaaaay before I was geared up for the endeavor. We went for it nonetheless. Full steam ahead.⁠

That's a small parenting lesson I think I've gleaned since entering toddler life. Go with the flow. Pivot. Adapt. Embrace the present Whatever you want to call it.⁠

My plans, or the way I picture something going, aren't worth the emotional rollercoaster I put my kid on if it means switching tracks when they're not expecting it or even old enough for the ride.⁠⠀
⁠
Putting the lid back on the table after she's seen something that sparked her curiosity, would have derailed her. It was far easier (for all three of us) to adjust my expectation for the activity, rather than try to divert Gal's excitement away from the rice flower she discovered and rekindle it at a later hour.

Sure, it's a bit of a blow to my heart propped up by high expectations, especially when I've spent precious evening or naptime minutes creating and dreaming of how the kids will receive an activity, but we've learned it's better. ⁠
⁠
For all of us. 💞⁠

2020: Tell me how you really feel

Stream of consciousness warning.

Sometimes after I lose myself in news articles, YouTube responses, or social media posts, I feel like we're in a sinking ship. My heart has been wrestling with the fight against racism in particular, but it even feels like that battle is set in a much larger war.

I mean, with the pandemic we’re still experiencing. The global one? The thing that took lives, isolated millions, and normalized and idealized mask wearing across the country. And don’t forget the 2020 election coming up. The obscene amount of national debt. The limitless power of the media to manipulate our thinking. 

The tension feels like we're on the verge of something—the new normal everyone’s referring to, a shift in power, or this looming turning point in history.

And it’s intentional, you know? The fact that many of us feel anger or fear or helplessness when we think about the world and wherever it’s headed. 

It’s all intentional.

The anxiety we felt when we couldn’t get toilet paper. The way we get information—what goes viral immediately compared to what takes a few days to come to light. Why we don't hear about peace and unity but see instance after instance of unrest and violence. The reason you feel like it’s us vs. them. (Fill in the blank there... White vs. black. Left vs. Right. Rural vs. City. Gen Z vs. Boomers.)

There’s comfort in mob mentality, but at what cost? Isolation and alienation from those different from you? 

That’s not community. It’s not togetherness. And it’s not a kingdom mindset.

I’m not talking conspiracy theories—can’t even get into those or I lose sleep.

But I am talking about control and who we let dictate our outlook on life. Are we consulting our phones or our friends before we invest the time to think critically about these issues and come to our own decisions? And if we’re neglecting truth seeking (it’s hard work, unpopular at times, and takes time), are we aware our fervor for a particular issue may be the desired outcome of a contrived behind the scenes effort? Whose agenda are we unconsciously pushing? It's a rattling thought, but I know I'm just so naive—it’s hard to trust my gut anymore.

I’m hesitant to act not out of fear, but because I feel like we’re all being played.

Covid-19 is real, racism is EVIL, and our hope can never be in the government, but being faithful in the midst of the turmoil is proving to be quite the balancing act.

Can’t we still choose kindness? Are we still able to be generous in our thoughts and assumptions about people and their behavior?

That's why I still think it comes down to loving your neighbor.

It has to.

Or else, what are we doing?

Racism & Me: Part 2

Remember back in March when quarantine in the states first started? We were suddenly aware of what the world had been fighting in the months prior to our experience.

There was fear. There was uncertainty. And an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. 

Helplessness in particular is a sentiment I can’t seem to shake these days. And in the weeks after May 25th, I’ve felt even more helpless and at times, hopeless. 

But as I mentioned in the last post, I’ve come to terms with my role in this fight for justice and unity. It is sewn by repentance, rooted in humility, and grown in hope. 

And my fight starts at home. 

It starts in my sphere of influence. 

It starts with my kids and the way I talk with them. It starts with my family, and having the courage to speak up. It starts with showing kindness to our neighbors, the black, white, and brown service workers who come to our doorstep each day, law enforcement officers with whom we interact, and our friends who are bearing the weight of this conflict more closely than I. 

Reform will come through learning, listening, and reconciling with our history, but if it doesn’t transfer to our parenting we haven’t changed the world at all. 

My heart and my attitude will seep into my kids and thus, the men and women they grow up to be. God forbid it be a heart seeded in hate and an attitude of privilege. 

As mamas, dadas, grands, and caretakers, our job cannot be overlooked. 

We are agents of change sewing seeds of love in our sons and daughters. We are parents of hope raising the next generation of truth seekers, justice fighters, and servant leaders.

We are empowered to change the world through our parenting.

---

A few weeks ago we bought “God Made Me and You” by Shai Linne as a resource for talking to our kids about diversity, but it was me who learned as I read.

While Amos & Gal (2 1/2) were enraptured with the bus on the cover (I shouldn't be surprised) I held back tears hearing the big, gospel picture told on the pages. As obvious as it seems, racism as sin, that which infects humanity and separates us from a holy God, isn't usually where the focus of the racism conversation is. And told in that setting, my helplessness found its root, it found its enemy.

I thought I had grieved racism, and the effects of hate on our brothers and sisters, but apparently, I hadn't. 

I cried over the realization that had this movement not taken place the past month, I never would have intentionally sought after books like these for our kids' library. Not only were they not on my radar, they weren’t even a priority.

But reading this book to my kids, seeing them notice the tears wetting my cheeks, humbled and facing my privilege in something as simple as childrens  lit, I repented.

Also. Can't recommend this children's book enough. The author even has actionable items for adults listed in the back. Grab a copy or check out this article of his. And join me in repentance and leading our kids to be people of humility and hope.

Instagram accounts we’ve followed since our decision to seek out diversity. And remember. It’s okay to be pushed, it’s okay to feel uncomfortable. Just don’t forget to think critically (and biblically) or call out pride when it rises. 

@theconsciouskid

@thepolishedplayhouse

@booksfordiversity

@themompsychologist

@montessorimadre

Racism and Me: Part 1

It's hard to know what to say, when to be silent, and how to even begin thinking about everything in front of us the past month. It's messy and murky. Wading into it, especially publicly, feels intimidating, like I'm bound to trip all over myself. 

But for some reason, I can’t shake the feeling that I have to say something—even if it falls short or fails to meet expectations. Continuing to post about what our family is up to, while ignoring what’s been weighing on our hearts and minds feels incongruent to the way I’ve committed to using social media. My heart, especially when coming back to the platform, is to share our real life happenings—the wins and not wins, the wrestlings and workings. 

And this, this is a big wrestling. 

---

I've spent the last weeks muted, reading, praying, and seeking out voices different than my own. I've said dumb things and thought worse things, but I try my darnedest each day to follow that line you’ll remember, "Love your neighbor as yourself."

It seems easy. But as sin drowns my heart I have to commit myself to that commandment anew. Daily. By the minute. And thank God He is full of mercy.

I fight pride. Thinking I deserve my life and am entitled to it because of the choices I've made and the work I've done. "No, Kaylee," the Lord says in the quiet. "It is only through my work and the grace I've bestowed on you that you've been trusted to steward this life. Get busy. You have work to do."

I fight control. They call it unrest for a reason. "Rest" is far from what we've experienced in 2020. Change is coming. And as much as I want to know what it is and how it’s going to affect my own life, I have to remind myself it's not about me. It never has been.

I fight fear. But of what? Losing privilege? Losing comfort? Losing position? My family's safety? That all needs to be surrendered. We know how this battle and every battle after will ultimately end. With every knee bowed and every tongue having confessed that Jesus is Lord. 

The time to end racism—against all colors—was yesterday. 

The time to end discrimination, was yesterday.

And the time to wage war against the sin that ensnares all of our hearts is EVERYDAY. 

I might sound like a downer, but this side of heaven y’all, sin will continue to exist. 

And racism is and always will be a sin issue. But when sin is brought to light, Christians, we must repent. 

And repenting doesn’t mean embodying a worldly grief or righteous anger that accomplishes nothing, and it doesn’t mean doing something that checks off a box or makes us feel better. Repenting means turning from our past ways--it means a radical change of heart and behavior. 

If more of us “Christians” truly repented of our sin, wouldn’t racism’s hold, especially the racism plaguing the church be exposed and begin to be healed?

Sin grieves the heart of God. And if we’re seeking after his heart, y’all, it should grieve us too. 

Now is the time for lament. 

Latasha Morrison says,

In order to move from awareness to acknowledgment, we must first be brave enough to accept the historical truths and modern realities. We can’t shy away from the conversations just because they’re uncomfortable or awkward or unpleasant. We can’t change the subject because issues of racism make us feel bad. Instead, we have to have the hard conversations so we can move to a place of deep lament. To lament means to express sorrow or regret. We have to sit in the sorrow, avoid trying to fix it right away, avoid our attempts to make it all okay. Only then is the pain useful. Only then can it lead us into healing and wisdom.

Healing for our families, our friends, our communities, our cities, and country won't take place overnight. It has been and continues to be a long road. We’ve been here before, yet we can't just move on. But we can move forward. 

The work needs to be done, faithfully and thoroughly. 

But there is hope. There is a future worth fighting for.

If you, like me, are a white Christian struggling to find your voice or know actionable items to embrace in this fight, pause, breathe in humility, and lament. Don't let social pressure distract you from listening to the Spirit and what He has for you.

He won't lead you astray. 

And at the end of the day, we have our fighting orders. They're the prophet Micah's words, echoing over social media of late,

Love mercy. Act humbly. Do justice.

---

If you're reading and hearing perspectives, which I hope you continue to do, here are the pieces that have challenged and encouraged me. 

articles, Blog Posts, & Videos

• Actionable and gracious guidance to white friends by Karla Y. Johnson

• Kara’s follow up post full of hope and encouragement for white friends.

• My friend Orin’s facebook post turned article in Point Loma’s magazine.

• An older article by Lori Lakin Hutcherson, a black opinion on white privilege.

• Shai Linne’s reflections on George Floyd’s murder and aftermath.

• How systemic racism works by Phil Vischer, Bob the tomato anyone?

Podcasts:

• Orin’s interview with UPPERROOM

• Brandon Washington’s interview on Denver Seminary’s engage podcast after Ahmaud Arbery’s death

• Latasha Morrison on Don't Mom Alone

• Shai Linne on The Gospel Coalition Podcast on Ethnic Unity

Books: 

• "Be the bridge" - Latasha Morrison 

• “The Coddling of the American Mind” - Greg Lukianoff & Jonathan Haidt

• "I'm Still Here" - Austin Channing Brown (Videos & Discussion Guide available if you’re not a reader)

The Quarantine Photo Challenge

Are you looking for a way to commemorate the season of quarantine with your neighbors? 

We saw those drone photos floating around Pinterest of culdesacs with folks in their lawn chairs, grilling with the family across the street—just from their own drive ways. Taking such a photo seemed like a decent way to try and get people together and bring some smiles to our quarantine. So we attempted a similar idea with the families on our block. 

Do you want to do it too? 

Here are 5 simple steps to the quarantine neighbor photo challenge.

1. Get a go for the idea

We sent a couple feeler texts and inquired as to availability. Since our stay at home order was still in affect, it wasn’t hard to find a time when everyone was home. 

2. Set a time

We picked a Saturday afternoon and planned to take the photo. It was funny trying to connect with the whole block, because it’s so unlike organizing a typical photo with a team or a group of friends or family, because there’s not an easy way to communicate with everyone! Some of our neighbors don’t text and one doesn’t even have a home phone. We even creepily waited till we saw neighbors outside and pounced!

Truth be told, because I was so eager to get everyone involved and hopeful for the final product, I was probably a little pushier than normal trying to get folks on board—especially when they didn’t understand the ultimate vision. After the fact, I know they’d all be willing to take one every year! But the unknown is always hard. It would’ve been a good idea to have an idea of the photo to show folks, but thankfully we have the pre-existing relationship with our neighbors that they trusted me a little bit and could lean into the discomfort of my weird plans.

3. Rally the troops

When it was time to take the photo, me and the kids and the kids from next-door knocked on doors and invited everyone out to take the pic. We positioned everyone in their family groups, 6 ft apart, and kind of in the order of our homes along the block.

4. Take the pic!

It took all of 10 minutes. We smiled and Jake took a few photos. It looked like a giant band photo with the drone catching our block shooting off in the horizon. 

Because the excitement and curiosity about what it looked like was high. It’s not everyday a drone takes your picture…I didn’t feel like I had to keep the pic a surprise until we got it developed. So we texted it to people, showed people as we visited after taking the pic, and thanked them for playing along. 

5. Develop & Deliver

We sent it off to get developed and ordered 5X7’s copies.

We made a quick set of “Quaranteam” cards (I like to buy bulk kraft cards and envelopes and simply run a strip of washi tape on the lower third, then handletter something on the front). Then we wrote a genuine note inside to each of our neighbors. 

We’re committed to calling out the good things we notice in the people living alongside us—things that probably would go unnoticed, and surely unsaid, in most neighbor relationships. It is an opportunity for us to show gratitude for what we appreciate about each person and speak encouragement and hope over their lives. 

We’ve found that taken the time to speak bold words of encouragement is foundational to the neighboring relationship and practicing vulnerability and openness.

Finally, the kids and I are always baking. So we baked a couple different recipes (Pinch of Yum granola and breakfast cookies) and packaged some treats up to deliver alongside our “Quaranteam” cards.”

Wala! Challenge complete.

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Now. If all that sounds like a bit too much. Or if you don’t have a drone, or simply don’t feel like baking, don’t give up hope just yet. 

There are still ways to pull this challenge off. 

Easily simplify it by gathering everyone together and line up on one side of the block Red-rover style! Then have someone else take the photo. When you get them developed just write on the back with sharpie, “Quaranteam 2020” and deliver in people’s mailboxes. The memory of that goes a long way. 

If you take on the quaranteam neighbor photo challenge. Let us know in comments below or tag us on instagram! 

Happy neighboring!

5 Ways Quarantine Changed Neighboring

In this post, we’re going to examine 5 ways quarantine during the COVID-19 pandemic changed the art of neighboring.

Quarantine was this never before seen time where no one was leaving their houses. We had some neighbors who lost jobs, some essential workers, some elderly neighbors who couldn’t see their kids, and others trying to work from home while balancing kids in distance learning. 

But there was common ground in that we were all worried, thrown out of our rhythms, and desperately looking for connection. 

And it was in that setting that neighboring became critical.

No longer were we able to get by without relationship with those living around us. Whereas before we could lean on a quick, obligatory salute or greeting, during quarantine, the people across the street were the only regular faces we saw for weeks. 

Here are the top 5 ways quarantine changed neighboring.

1. The obligatory neighbor salute transformed into genuine concern for another.

Suddenly there was an openness to invest more than a minute in checking in with each other. We weren’t having drive by conversations, we were all more intentional and receptive to talking about what we were experiencing and how we were feeling. It became an opportunity to be able to lament and grieve together. It wasn’t anything formal, I didn’t lead anyone in a prayer, but we were able to corporately express our losses and wonder about what was happening together. That, combined with also sharing our joys and new discoveries about what was keeping us busy (like a local nest of baby owls or sourdough starters) brought us to a new level of community and friendship. 

We even noticed a difference in people walking by our house or people who invited us into conversation when we were on our walks. People everywhere had a common enemy, the virus was something that upended all of our lives, and thus, neighbors everywhere had a common concern and curiosity to see how people in their spheres were holding up. Because of this genuine concern, we met people we wouldn’t have met otherwise who are now familiar faces around the neighborhood. 

Predictably, where these new friendly exchanges didn’t pan out, was when people chose to walk with masks on. The masks, though an understandable choice, shut off any invitation for interaction. When people walked by our house with masks on, the respectable thing to do was to give them space. We acknowledged them, and reverted to offering the obligatory salute in solidarity and kindness, but we didn’t expect to make a new friend. It’s the reality of masks as a barrier to human interaction.

2. We were all a little bit quicker to offer help.

We were all a little bit quicker to offer help. It’s not that people didn’t offer help, our neighbors have always been our first responders in the case of a dead car battery or a need for last minute babysitting. And they’re always our go-to care for mail, plants, and chickens when we’re out of town. But in these last few weeks, neighboring wasn’t just about responding to needs, neighboring was about anticipating them.

One neighbor’s daughter is an ER nurse, and she continued to get her groceries and surprise her and her hospital staff, but it meant we had to be extra disciplined in social distancing with her. We baked some treats to share and wrote notes. Showing gratitude to her daughter, meant appreciating and being there for our neighbor.

Some neighbors who have been harder to get to know dropped off two rolls of paper, neighbors offered an extra dozen eggs, lemons. 

There was an even a morning where four of our houses worked together to find the owners of two run away dogs.

3. People were more willing to accept help as well as go along with sometimes “out there” ideas.

When quarantine first hit, we wrote quick “Don’t worry notes” with our contact info and offered to help do chores or get groceries for the elderly people on our block. 

When an elderly couple was commenting on how church was cancelled and he didn’t like the online thing, I instinctively offered to organize a weekly hymn sing from his sidewalk. It was a clunky gathering, kids running everywhere, measly three part harmony, and disorganized jumping between hymn verses, but the intent behind the effort was meaningful to all of us.

Another idea for which everyone jumped onboard was this funny drone video we took to commemorate our “quaranteam”. I made a video about the process linked below!

4. Being outside was an invitation to community.

Thankfully, we experienced quarantine in the Spring instead of the winter. Had we had to stay indoors because of both quarantine and the weather, I shudder to think of where our society would be. Instead, the outside beckoned us for fresh air and chances at community.

The simple act of being outside, especially our being in the front yard, created opportunities for connection. Catching neighbors outside, whether it’s the young couple gardening, the scientist watering, or the family with four kids playing 500 in the street, it was a repeated invitation to check in and journey alongside them. 

It was also a surprising joy to see how welcoming people have been to us using their space. We would often be found biking in their driveways, sitting in their front yard, leaving chalk messages on their sidewalks, or delighting in their tire swings. Now, we are probably more assuming then most, but feeling the freedom to help ourselves to a neighbor’s rocks or playing hide and seek under their trees comes with knowing them and having relationships with them. The often unintended, beautiful consequence of their simple hospitality, is that their seeing us enjoying the space they’ve provided and cared for, often invites them to come outside with us. We get to enjoy conversation, listen to toddler giggles, and soak up Vitamin D. 

5. People gave encouragement generously. 

Even when you’d expect people to be inward focused and concerned about his/her own wellbeing, quarantine ended up being a time when our neighbors were noticing the good in people. 

We saw neighbors’ strength, courage, and perseverance in the face of adversity and weren’t afraid to call out the good in each other. Different families cheered us up with painted rocks, May Day flowers in a tea cup, and handmedowns. Other neighbors encouraged me and the other moms on our streets, telling us they were encouraged by our energy, or how impressed they were with our kids.

It was beautiful to know that even when we were all stressed, worried, and concerned and the future, we were still looking outward, seeing the good in people, speaking truth, and choosing to build others up. 

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And that concludes our top 5 ways quarantine changed the art of neighboring. Time will tell to see if these neighboring changes stick around or if they revert to their more isolating ways

What did you notice about neighboring in quarantine? Was your experience as positive? Leave us a comment or hop onto instagram and share your ideas as we post about neighboring over there.