In this post, we’re going to examine 5 ways quarantine during the COVID-19 pandemic changed the art of neighboring.
Quarantine was this never before seen time where no one was leaving their houses. We had some neighbors who lost jobs, some essential workers, some elderly neighbors who couldn’t see their kids, and others trying to work from home while balancing kids in distance learning.
But there was common ground in that we were all worried, thrown out of our rhythms, and desperately looking for connection.
And it was in that setting that neighboring became critical.
No longer were we able to get by without relationship with those living around us. Whereas before we could lean on a quick, obligatory salute or greeting, during quarantine, the people across the street were the only regular faces we saw for weeks.
Here are the top 5 ways quarantine changed neighboring.
1. The obligatory neighbor salute transformed into genuine concern for another.
Suddenly there was an openness to invest more than a minute in checking in with each other. We weren’t having drive by conversations, we were all more intentional and receptive to talking about what we were experiencing and how we were feeling. It became an opportunity to be able to lament and grieve together. It wasn’t anything formal, I didn’t lead anyone in a prayer, but we were able to corporately express our losses and wonder about what was happening together. That, combined with also sharing our joys and new discoveries about what was keeping us busy (like a local nest of baby owls or sourdough starters) brought us to a new level of community and friendship.
We even noticed a difference in people walking by our house or people who invited us into conversation when we were on our walks. People everywhere had a common enemy, the virus was something that upended all of our lives, and thus, neighbors everywhere had a common concern and curiosity to see how people in their spheres were holding up. Because of this genuine concern, we met people we wouldn’t have met otherwise who are now familiar faces around the neighborhood.
Predictably, where these new friendly exchanges didn’t pan out, was when people chose to walk with masks on. The masks, though an understandable choice, shut off any invitation for interaction. When people walked by our house with masks on, the respectable thing to do was to give them space. We acknowledged them, and reverted to offering the obligatory salute in solidarity and kindness, but we didn’t expect to make a new friend. It’s the reality of masks as a barrier to human interaction.
2. We were all a little bit quicker to offer help.
We were all a little bit quicker to offer help. It’s not that people didn’t offer help, our neighbors have always been our first responders in the case of a dead car battery or a need for last minute babysitting. And they’re always our go-to care for mail, plants, and chickens when we’re out of town. But in these last few weeks, neighboring wasn’t just about responding to needs, neighboring was about anticipating them.
One neighbor’s daughter is an ER nurse, and she continued to get her groceries and surprise her and her hospital staff, but it meant we had to be extra disciplined in social distancing with her. We baked some treats to share and wrote notes. Showing gratitude to her daughter, meant appreciating and being there for our neighbor.
Some neighbors who have been harder to get to know dropped off two rolls of paper, neighbors offered an extra dozen eggs, lemons.
There was an even a morning where four of our houses worked together to find the owners of two run away dogs.
3. People were more willing to accept help as well as go along with sometimes “out there” ideas.
When quarantine first hit, we wrote quick “Don’t worry notes” with our contact info and offered to help do chores or get groceries for the elderly people on our block.
When an elderly couple was commenting on how church was cancelled and he didn’t like the online thing, I instinctively offered to organize a weekly hymn sing from his sidewalk. It was a clunky gathering, kids running everywhere, measly three part harmony, and disorganized jumping between hymn verses, but the intent behind the effort was meaningful to all of us.
Another idea for which everyone jumped onboard was this funny drone video we took to commemorate our “quaranteam”. I made a video about the process linked below!
4. Being outside was an invitation to community.
Thankfully, we experienced quarantine in the Spring instead of the winter. Had we had to stay indoors because of both quarantine and the weather, I shudder to think of where our society would be. Instead, the outside beckoned us for fresh air and chances at community.
The simple act of being outside, especially our being in the front yard, created opportunities for connection. Catching neighbors outside, whether it’s the young couple gardening, the scientist watering, or the family with four kids playing 500 in the street, it was a repeated invitation to check in and journey alongside them.
It was also a surprising joy to see how welcoming people have been to us using their space. We would often be found biking in their driveways, sitting in their front yard, leaving chalk messages on their sidewalks, or delighting in their tire swings. Now, we are probably more assuming then most, but feeling the freedom to help ourselves to a neighbor’s rocks or playing hide and seek under their trees comes with knowing them and having relationships with them. The often unintended, beautiful consequence of their simple hospitality, is that their seeing us enjoying the space they’ve provided and cared for, often invites them to come outside with us. We get to enjoy conversation, listen to toddler giggles, and soak up Vitamin D.
5. People gave encouragement generously.
Even when you’d expect people to be inward focused and concerned about his/her own wellbeing, quarantine ended up being a time when our neighbors were noticing the good in people.
We saw neighbors’ strength, courage, and perseverance in the face of adversity and weren’t afraid to call out the good in each other. Different families cheered us up with painted rocks, May Day flowers in a tea cup, and handmedowns. Other neighbors encouraged me and the other moms on our streets, telling us they were encouraged by our energy, or how impressed they were with our kids.
It was beautiful to know that even when we were all stressed, worried, and concerned and the future, we were still looking outward, seeing the good in people, speaking truth, and choosing to build others up.
And that concludes our top 5 ways quarantine changed the art of neighboring. Time will tell to see if these neighboring changes stick around or if they revert to their more isolating ways
What did you notice about neighboring in quarantine? Was your experience as positive? Leave us a comment or hop onto instagram and share your ideas as we post about neighboring over there.