Today’s reading was from Psalm 90.
As I got into the reading I had to ask myself, “does my Bible App know that it’s Ash Wednesday?” Assuming that Siri is as close to omniscient as any created being could be, I chose to believe that I was intentionally reading this Psalm on the day that began my journey through 40 days of Lent. Here is Psalm 90:3,
“You return man to dust and say, ‘Return, O children of man!’”
And just like that, I'm humbled. I suddenly don’t think I’m all that…thank you liturgical calendar. Nothing like being reminded that we are but dust.
Thus marks the beginning of the season of Lent. Our neighborhood study has intentionally anticipated Lent and discussed its purpose, and how to engage our own sin and need for Jesus over the next 40 days—especially in the area of prayer, almsgiving, and fasting. It was interesting for me as I thought about what God might want for me in this season. Usually, in the past, I’ve done things like give up Facebook or read my Bible every morning, but after Erin led our group in an all too brief study of Lent, I realized that I needed to be more intentional about ridding myself of my sin. While I have plenty of sin: jealousy, criticism, lack of grace, oodles of pride. Elissa’s story of a friend who gave up “criticizing her husband” has not left me. And thus, here is my Lenten commitment:
I have resolved to intentionally, for this season of Lent, watch my words, actions, and attitudes towards my husband--and unless he reads this or I knock this one so far out of the park he asks me why our marriage is better, he'll never know. Practically, I have given up asking him for something or about anything more than once. I will not repeat myself (especially since he generally hears me the first time). I know that even in typing it out I sound ridiculous, but I must flee from the possibility of becoming a quarrelsome wife--a leaking roof in a rainstorm (Prov. 27:15). Too often my questions, like arrows, pierce his confidence with the subtle sting of disrespect and doubt. Though this is rarely my intention, it is often how my questions are received. I resolve to intentionally examine and phrase such questions in grace and wait for a response, rather than impatiently asking again.
Today we begin this season in intentional fasting on Ash Wednesday. We remember our hopelessness, our depravity, and our utter dependence on God.
I enter into this season of Lent expectantly and prayerfully,
Father, forgive me for the ways I've allowed my words, attitudes, and actions to disrespect and doubt my husband. Please strengthen me to choose patience and grace as I relearn how to communicate and strive to build him up as a man after your own heart. May your Spirit in this season of Lent redirect me on the path of righteousness.
Lord, have mercy.