The following are the required elements for my dream nap: the ocean, the sand, a towel, the sun, a good book, sunglasses, and lots and lots of sunscreen.
This Spring Break, I slacked off on the sunscreen part. I slacked off on a lot of things actually. My Bible reading fell behind, Jake and I didn't do our regular morning devotions and prayer, I did not get ahead on my homework, and I failed to journal even once. Why is it that a break in the routine has this effect?
Just as my forgetting to adequately apply sunscreen has disastrous results for a fair-skinned maiden such as myself--just see the pictures of my spotted sunburned shins as evidence--the conscience decisions I made to put off my time with the Lord and take a break from reflecting on his work in my life resulted in a resurgence of the worst things in me. I slacked off on the spiritual disciplines I worked hard to develop. I was lazy in the name of relaxation, and I paid a high price.
I know I should be writing about what a glorious few days we spent in Jupiter, FL--where Jake and his family have been traveling to escape the Vermont winters since he was a boy--and how his parents met us there for a few days of catching up, breakfasts out, and delightful beach naps, but the reality is that I allowed the past few days to set me a few steps back in this journey of sanctification. I can feel it. Like the aching sunburn on my legs, the uncomfortable pain on my chest, and the restricted movement of my arms, the burning presence of these awful vices keep me from experiencing grace. In hopes of finding rest, I put off the intentional habits I had worked so hard to instill and I ignored the urging to spend sweet time finding true renewal at the feet of my Savior. To no one's surprise but my own, my usual culprits of impatience, anger, and jealousy began to rear their ugly heads in my heart.
I'm ashamed it took so long to recognize, and I'm embarrassed I am just now returning to the study and prayer that draws me nearer to Christ. Next time the usual routine is interrupted, may I not be so proud and self-righteous that I think myself above spiritual discipline. May I not be fooled into thinking I can take a hiatus from that which forms my heart for the better--lest I be naive, my heart is always being formed. Father, forgive me. I sought escape under the sun and ignored the rest you offer.
“Come to me, all you are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”